Several years back, as we slowly realized our daughter was going to have significant delays and medical issues, we wondered how on earth we could ever pursue our dream of farming when it felt like one of our children would have to be left out. It felt like an insurmountable task. As her parents, we didn’t want to create a life that all of our children could not be a part of so we gave up our dream of farming and we moved somewhere with sidewalks.
Eight years ago we were thrown into the deep end of the special needs parenting pond without warning. We had no idea what we were doing and we were running on fumes. It was the most challenging season of my life.
We are a close knit little family, and we move as a unit even when we are apart. One thing was clear, if one of our children could not thrive in the lifestyle we’d chosen, that was not going to be the lifestyle for us. So we moved into town. We had sidewalks and no steps to get into our home. Our driveway was paved. It was a special season where we were able to come up for air and get a handle on our new reality as special needs parents. We got a handle on our daughter’s health issues and finally got a diagnosis.
I remember the day we got her first adaptable stroller. It was bittersweet. There was the realization that my child was not learning to walk anytime soon, if ever. There was also new freedom for her to have a chair that supported her body properly and gave her better access to the world around her. We walked those sidewalks almost every single day and she loved it.
Over the years we started to figure out how to include our daughter in just about everything we did. She’s been canoeing with us. She loves riding in a jon boat down the inter coastal waterways of North Carolina. I’ve taken her to the beach several times now. We’ve gone on hikes through the woods on and off the beaten trail.
I realized that the only thing that was going to inhibit her abilities was a lack of creativity, imagination, and effort on our part as her parents. There was no reason to believe that she was any different from the rest of our little crew of nature loving, outside people. The way her whole body relaxes when she’s by the ocean inhaling that salty air, or when she’s under a canopy of hardwood trees staring up through the leaves is breathtaking.
In preparing for our farm we now know there will always be one extra step in finding the best way to make sure our daughter is included. This time it means making a big purchase for a special adaptable chair very soon. In the future as we grow into farming, there will be more equipment purchased, acquired through insurance, and built by my skilled and creative husband.
In this life gift of being her mother, among the many, many things that I’ve learned, a big one is that her abilities are only limited by my lack of imagination and gumption. My child who loves to be outside, who has a special connection with animals, who thrives on whole and healing food as close to the source as possible…of course she was always meant to be a part of this dream we held to farm. We just had to learn to be more adaptable.